Yea I'm back from chalet.
It was kinda awesome but I'll blog about it some other day.
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Kk, my dad came to fetch me after that.
So as usual, on the car... his @#$%^&*()(#$%^&*(@#$@#%$^&*.

He claims that I was those who always take, but when I have to give, I get angry and curse my parents (no i've never cursed them please). And he said the only thing I do is to get money from him, I don't even respect him and all.

Fuck.

Dad: "Why other people's daughters are so good in everything. Smart, good in studies, do their parents proud, very understanding, care a lot for their parents, (etc) . Why his daughter everything also so bad. He's such a failure (blablabla)"

Yeah. He said I was dumb. Straight in my face. "I really think my daughter's very dumb"

All I do is to bring him more trouble, I don't even treat him as my dad. I treat him as atm? If I don't care about my parents I wouldn't even have gotten upset and cried in the car. Then went home locked myself in my room and cried for hours in a corner right. I wouldn't have bothered to do that. If I didn't care, what for cry over what he said? Yeah, but I can't stop him from thinking that way.

He deemed me as I bet the most worthless bastard on earth that shouldn't even have existed.

He made me think that if he hadn't gotten a daughter like me his life would have been better. Perhaps so bah.

Wondering why he suddenly came to talk to me, again?

Cause I lost my wallet.

Wow, right. He said everytime he talks to me I get angry and start crying, I EVEN CURSE THEM AND WANT TO TAKE REVENGE. Rubbish. He likes to make up stories and start elaborating about it thinking it's so cool and he's so right.

The other time he made me lock myself in the room and cry yet again for 3/4 hours non stop was on my bloody birthday which he had made it so memorable I will never forget in my life.

Another time, when he suddenly came to ask me to sleep but I didn't want to. He talked for one full hour about how I'm falling. What, I lived my life to my friends cause I entertain them online and don't study. To him, I'm everything of the worst.

Yay. So don't ask me out for the next few days - I've cancelled everything on.

It's troublesome for me to go out anyway. No keys, no access card, no ez link card, no money. I spent all my money for the holidays already and the day I got money from them, I lost my fucking wallet. Why would they give me money to spend already? We don't even talk to each other anymore.

My life's screwed and nothing's going right now here. I brought it upon myself. Shermaine says "think about the good things in life". But there's nothing in my life I find good right now. If you guys can think of one feel free to tell me. It'll perhaps make me feel better hahahahahahahaha. Since I really think i'm unworthy of anything now cause I've been thinking for hours but I still can't think of one. Yeah, I so suck.

But seriously, I'm not angry i'm just saying. My blog is the only place I can express whatever I think cause I can't talk back to my dad- I know I can't and yes, i didn't. But I've never thought I was that useless in his eyes.

I have nothing to say now.

I hate myself and my life.